Reality

So it would seem that most of my thoughts sway toward the fact that I've been single most of my life. Don't get me wrong, I've had the chance, it's just that i wasn't interested in that person. I guess I could say that i'm not really trying because i'm shy, but that seems like an excuse. What is the real problem, i'm not sure. The heart wants to grow closer without the pain of rejection. I've had great friends that i wanted to take that next step with, but without the whole awkward part if they don't like you "that way". I've been in that zone, and my best friend was never the same, she didn't talk to me anymore or socialize with me the same way. Probably with the fear that i would think that it was going to lead somewhere. Which is probably true, but i still miss hanging out with her, making her laugh. That's what i want in a relationship, a true friend that can compliment me in a way no other can. She's out there; i just don't know where.